Well, another week has past. Just 2 weeks left. Today marks the beginning of food and medication restrictions that become increasingly limited as surgery grows near. I have also begun taking Arnica.
Currently I’m waiting on the pre-registration process. I called last week and they informed me that the nurses we were calling people about 2 weeks out right now. They took my phone number and said they would likely call me this week, sometime after Monday, since it was a holiday. I won’t be surprised if I don’t hear anything from them till next week though.
My last day of work is next Thursday. So I have just 7 more days of work then I don’t return till the beginning of May. I plan on taking a full 3 months off to heal the best that I can. I absolutely don’t want to do anything that will jeopardize my healing process and I feel grateful to be in a position where my savings, and my job are conducive to making that happen.
The biggest thing that’s happened for me over the past week is just feeling more anxiety over my donor site choice. I have a huge fear of ending up with a tiny penis. I have small arms. I worry that I don’t have enough subcutaneous fat to really give me anywhere near the thickness that I desire which is solidly in the 5 inch girth range. On the contrary, I have never had a need to have a large dick. It’s just not something I feel compelled to have. I want something manageable (for me) but also to not go through these huge surgeries to end up with something that is difficult to penetrate with because of it’s small size.
So all that to say that there is still flip-flopping happening in my mind about which donor site I will end up using. What I DO know is that whatever the donor site ends up being, 2 weeks from now I’ll have a penis, and it will be mine, and I will love it.
In terms of lodging, I’ve had 2 Airbnb bookings cancel on me thus far! I’m not sure if this is a common experience because this is the first instance in which I am using the service. But it’s really unnerving to have what you thought to be stable housing plans, be pulled out from under you. My offer was accepted, I had paid and everything was set. The money ended up being applied to another booking, but still. You would think it was pretty final. So the place I have now is in Oakland and it seems set. I’m sure what I experienced with the two cancellations was a rarity. At least I hope it was. Either way, if you use that service for lodging, maybe just be mindful of other options available to you in case there is a need for a change in plans.
People keep asking me if I’m nervous. That’s a hard question to answer. Yes and No. I’m anxious for it to be here. My stomach is in knots – has been for well over a week now. But I’m not scared. It’s more that the waiting is really hard right now. I feel the energy in my body. Each week keeps seeming to go by faster and faster and yet, none of this feels real. It doesn’t feel like I’m going to be flying to California next weekend… But I am… The momentum is building and I’m sure my stomach will be even worse as the time gets nearer, but I’m ready. It will be a whole new experience being on the other side of all this. One that I can’t possibly imagine right now.
2… More… Weeks…