Wow, I’m in disbelieve today. This afternoon I finished my last shift at work till May 1st, which is my estimated date to return. I feel myself sinking into a deep meditative, peaceful focused state. I had been feeling very distracted at work and knew that I needed to be finished with that as part of my daily routine in order to focus on final preparations.
However, I wasn’t expecting the sort of calm that has washed over me to the extent that it has. While I am busy getting things ready, packing, and tidying up my house for an optimum environment to return to, my thoughts and energy feel eased. I’m grateful to have been able to finish work a handful of days prior to my surgery. It feels very important to me that I step into this embodiment with intention in mind and spirit and that it’s done in a meditative way. I’ve known that since early planning and I feel it will serve me well in my recovery.
I’ve shed some powerfully healing tears today. Soul-cleansing, tears of gratitude. I am humbled to be able to have this surgery. Sooooo deeply. I know that just as I have researched this process for over 10 years and wished and hoped and dreamed for it since I was 6 or 7, that my time has finally come. Meanwhile, I feel pain and sorrow for those that will continue to wait… Know that a part of me stays with you. Extended always, that brotherly hand reaching back, ready to help the next over the wall. You’ve gotta jump for it, but we’ll catch you.
The journey begins Sunday morning at 3:00am when I leave my house and start my travels to the west coast. 2 more days of preparations – then I let go, leaving the rest to unfold as it wills.